Quitting Smoking and Other Harmful Habits

This is an NLP technique.
About NLP — NLP

It really allows you to get rid of any addiction, not just smoking.

Moreover, you can help another person do it yourself. At the very least, you can avoid ruining the process. And I can tell you for sure that this is very important. Because mothers and fathers can mess things up so badly that their son or daughter will never quit smoking, drinking, or using drugs...

So, here is what you definitely should not do:

1. Forbid it. Neither yourself nor another person.
2. Somehow bully or berate yourself or someone else. Scold them.
3. No judgment whatsoever. Make sure there is not even a 1% desire to do it as an act of protest. And do not put on a happy face when someone does not smoke—this is the flip side of judgment.

What you should do:

1. Allow them to do it. Literally, give them maximum freedom. As much freedom as possible. Want to smoke? Smoke. But also: do not want to? Then do not smoke.

As I already said, you can substitute anything for “smoking.” “Buns at night,” “a shot of vodka,” “a piece of sausage,” “swearing”... Anything.

There is nothing interesting in any repetitive process. Try eating candy every day. You will get tired of it. But if someone forbids you from doing it, or you forbid yourself, a special interest will appear—for example, doing it out of spite, or because it may seem interesting: after all, it is forbidden.
When every underlying motive disappears, the desire to perform the action will disappear. Because, I repeat, a monotonous action in itself is unremarkable and becomes tiresome. But try telling your daughter that you forbid her to have sex... She will immediately become enormously interested in it. And after that, she will not care what exactly you are forbidding her... She will be interested not in sex itself, but in the fact that you forbade her to do it. It will become an act of protest. It will become anything at all. It will take on special significance.

Do not give that significance to tiresome, monotonous things such as smoking, alcoholism, eating at night...
And all of it will cease to be interesting. Because doing the same thing is simply uninteresting and unpleasant; it is boring. There is no protest, revolution, or forbidden thrill in it...

How many days could you eat, say, canned green peas? A week or two. After that, they would make you nauseous.

Once again:

Force someone to do something, and they will do it reluctantly, against their will.
Forbid them from doing it, and they will do it with a different kind of interest—for example, as an act of protest.

A harmful action in itself, such as smoking, is a tiresome, unremarkable process. Just think about it: running to the bathroom every hour, taking out a cigarette, and inhaling acrid smoke... What is interesting about that?
This process has another side.
For example, protest. The more you forbid yourself or your child from doing something, the more you feed that protest—or anything similar.
And in that case, there is no chance that the process will stop.

Always ask yourself: "Why do I want to quit smoking?".

WHY?

Because your husband or wife wants you to? Your mother or father?

WHY DO I NEED THIS?

Just keep knocking this question into your mind.

Until you find the answer.

At first, the most ridiculous answers will come to you...

Actually, that's not quite right. At first, you won't even know why you want to quit smoking. Most often, people answer, "I just want to quit smoking." But why?

How will you quit smoking if you don't even know why you need to?

"To become healthy"... Well, OK.
You won't become healthy simply by quitting smoking. Wrong answer.

Why do you need to quit smoking?

It won't give you health.

"To save money on cigarettes."

That's funny—you still won't be able to buy a car with the money you save.

Wrong answer too.

"So I don't set a bad example for my growing children."

That's better.

But why do you yourself need this?

Веретенников Сергей said:

Why do you need to quit smoking?

Click to expand...

To become free and independent!

To respect yourself!

369 said:

To become free and independent!

Click to expand...

70324 said:

To respect yourself!

Click to expand...

Wrong answer.
Why become free, independent, and self-respecting (raise your self-esteem, etc.)?

You can do all of that regardless of smoking, vodka, eating late at night...

It's the same as saying, for example, that I want lots of money. Why? To respect myself, to become free... Money won't give you that!

That's why money doesn't come.

Why does a person smoke or drink alcohol?

70324 said:

Why does a person smoke or drink alcohol?

Click to expand...

Why does a person go to the park, read a book, watch films, or spend time with friends?

For variety.

Веретенников Сергей said:

Why does a person go to the park, read a book, watch films, or spend time with friends?

Click to expand...

Because they are free from problems and have time to be happy!

I smoked until I was about 35. How did I quit? I told myself that if I didn't quit now, I'd grow old into a granny with a cigarette between my teeth, and that certainly wouldn't look nice. Then there were two stages: at first I liked the cigarette smoke, and then it began to irritate me. Now, when people smoke nearby, I think that I used to be selfish and didn't understand what it was like for nonsmokers to be around it.

What motivation is there to quit smoking? People don't pay attention to their neighbors; they smoke on balconies and in stairwells. They don't stop smoking in public places even when asked. Yes, there are considerate people. Until a person decides for themselves that they need to quit smoking, no one will influence them—except their children. When you see them with a cigarette.

Everything a person does, they do in order to be happy. So, at some point in life, smoking became equated for them with attaining happiness, even if only for a brief moment; drinking = happiness, lots of money = happiness. We need to understand why this happened and why they started smoking in the first place. Was it to seem more mature and significant in the eyes of others and themselves, and did that bring them happiness? Then they definitely will not quit, even if they have already forgotten the reason. Subconsciously, they still remember it—and how can they give up their “importance”? Perhaps smoking is the only time of silence and peace they have, and therefore the only time they feel happy, when they can be alone with themselves. We need to find something that will bring happiness without destroying them, but instead elevating them.

I know of a case from psychological practice.
I’ll tell you about it in my own words.

A husband and wife came to see a psychologist. They were already on the verge of divorce.

The psychologist spent a long time finding out what was going on...

One episode particularly caught his attention: they had both quit smoking. What stood out was that, essentially, they had started arguing only after that.

The psychologist could not understand for a long time how the two things could possibly be connected. Quitting smoking is a good thing. So why had the arguments started...

It turned out that when this couple smoked, they talked. They talked well. It was their shared leisure time. Then it disappeared.

They stopped having heartfelt conversations. Their shared leisure time disappeared altogether. They somehow began living separate lives. Arguments and misunderstandings followed...

Of course, the psychologist did not tell them to start smoking again

What he did tell them is already clear.

Yes, finding mutual understanding is harder than getting divorced. There will be other problems in a second marriage.

From personal experience:
I smoked for more than 20 years. At the age of 42, I felt that someone had chosen me to be their mother.
That responsibility made me quit smoking that very moment. Preserving my health in good condition for as long as possible, for the sake of that Soul, was my motivation. I have not smoked for 15 years now.