What Matters More? To Arrive or to Leave. Toward or Away From

[Веретенников Сергей]

Here are two formulations:

1. I want to get rid of suffering.
2. I want to become happy.

1. I want to get away from a person who does not understand me.
2. I want to find understanding.

Technically, they seem to be about the same thing.

You know that joke, right? A man got lost in the forest. He started shouting and calling for help. A bear came.

That is the joke.

If you still have not understood: knowing what you do not want to have does not replace what you do want to have.

These are not the same thing at all.

They are often completely different things.

You do not like plums. At a restaurant, you tell the waiter, “Do not bring me plums.” And that is all.
You do not need plums. That is your program.
Why do you think the waiter will read your mind and bring you what you need?

He may bring you a piece of sausage, which you find even more disgusting. And you will blame the waiter—but not yourself.

But you did not tell the waiter WHAT YOU WANT!

So why do you blame him?

Now apply this example to your own life. And recognize yourself in it.

🔊 Listen ⏹ Stop 🌐 Choose language

<div class="bbWrapper">Here are two formulations:<br /> <br /> <ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">I want to get rid of suffering.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">I want to become happy.</li> </ol><br /> <ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">I want to get away from a person who does not understand me.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">I want to find understanding.</li> </ol><br /> Technically, they seem to be about the same thing.<br /> <br /> You know that joke, right? A man got lost in the forest. He started shouting and calling for help. A bear came.<br /> <br /> That is the joke.<br /> <br /> If you still have not understood: knowing what you do not want to have does not replace what you do want to have.<br /> <br /> These are not the same thing at all.<br /> <br /> They are often completely different things.<br /> <br /> You do not like plums. At a restaurant, you tell the waiter, “Do not bring me plums.” And that is all.<br /> You do not need plums. That is your program.<br /> Why do you think the waiter will read your mind and bring you what you need?<br /> <br /> He may bring you a piece of sausage, which you find even more disgusting. And you will blame the waiter—but not yourself.<br /> <br /> But you did not tell the waiter WHAT YOU WANT!<br /> <br /> So why do you blame him?<br /> <br /> Now apply this example to your own life. And recognize yourself in it.</div>