The elder crossed himself and began to speak: Give thanks to God, beloved brother, for revealing within you this irresistible longing to know unceasingof inner prayer. Recognize in this the calling of God and be at peace, assured that up to this time a test has been taking place within you of your will’s agreement with the voice of God, and that you were being shown that heavenly light and continual inner prayer are attained neither through the wisdom of this world nor through outward inquisitiveness, but, on the contrary, that they are found through poverty of spirit and practical experience, in simplicity of heart. Therefore, it is not at all surprising that you could not have heard about the essential work of prayer or learned the art of attaining its continual practice. And, to tell the truth, although much is preached about prayer and there are many teachings about it by various writers, since all their reasoning is based for the most part on speculation and the considerations of natural reason, rather than on practical experience, they teach more about the attributes of prayer than about the essence of the subject itself. One person reasons beautifully about the necessity of prayer; another about its power and beneficial effects; a third about the means of perfecting prayer—that is, about the fact that prayer necessarily requires zeal, attentiveness, warmth of heart, purity of thought, reconciliation with enemies, humility, contrition, and so on. But what is prayer? And how does one learn to pray?—on these questions, though they are the foremost and most essential, it is very rare to find detailed explanations among preachers of our time, since they are more difficult to understand than all the foregoing discussions and requiremysterious knowledge, and not merely school learning. But what is most regrettable of all is that vain elemental wisdom compels people to measure the Divine by human standards. Many reason about prayer in a completely distorted way, thinking that preparatory means and ascetic practices produce prayer, whereas prayer gives birth to ascetic practices and all virtues. In this case, they mistakenly take the fruits or consequences of prayer for the means and methods leading to it, and thereby diminish the power of prayer. This is entirely contrary to Holy Scripture, for the Apostle Paul gives instruction about prayer in these words: I urge, then, first of all (above all) that petitions, prayers[1 Тим. 2, 1]. — Here the first instruction in the Apostle’s statement about prayer is that he places the work of prayer above all else: I urge, first of all, that petitions and prayers be made. There are many good works required of a Christian, but the work of prayer must come before all other works, because without it no other good work can be accomplished. Without prayer, one cannot find the way to the Lord, understand the truth, crucify the flesh with its passions and desires, be illumined in the heart by the light of Christ, or unite with Him unto salvation without prior and frequent prayer. I say frequent, because both the perfection and the proper practice of prayer are beyond our ability, as the holy Apostle also saysPavel: for what we should pray, as is fitting, we do not know [Рим. 8, 26]. Consequently, only frequency and constancy are left to the measure of our ability, as a means of attaining purity in prayer, which is the mother of every spiritual good. Acquire the mother, and she will bear children for you, says St. Isaac the Syrian; learn to acquire the first prayer, and you will easily fulfill all the virtues. Yet those who are little acquainted with practice and with the mystical teachings of the holy fathers know little about this and speak little of it.
In this conversation, we had almost imperceptibly approached the very edge of the wilderness. Not wishing to lose this wise elder, and hoping sooner to obtain permission for my request, I hastened to say to him: “Please, most honorable father, explain to me what unceasing inner prayer means and how to learn it. I see that you know this thoroughly and from experience.”
The elder received my request with love and called me over to him: “Come to me now; I will give you a book by the holy fathers, from which, with God’s help, you can clearly and thoroughly understand and learn prayer.” We entered his cell, and the elder began to say the following: “Unceasing inner Jesus Prayer is the continuous, never-ending invocation of the divine name of Jesus Christ with the lips, the mind, and the heart, while always imagining His presence and asking for His mercy, during all activities, in every place, at every time, even in sleep. It is expressed inin such words: Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me! And if anyone becomes accustomed to this invocation, they will feel great consolation and a need to always say this prayer, to the point that they can no longer be without prayer, and it will begin to flow from them of its own accord.
Now do you understand what unceasing prayer is? — I understand very well, my father! For God’s sake, teach me how to attain it! — I exclaimed with joy.
How to learn this prayer—we shall read about that in this book. This book is called the Philokalia. It contains a complete and detailed teaching on unceasing inner prayer, set forth by twenty-five holy fathers, and is so exalted and beneficial that it is regarded as the foremost and primary guide in contemplative spiritual life and, as the venerable Nicephorus puts it, “leads to salvation without labor or sweat.”
— Is it really higher and holier than the Bible? — I asked.
— No, it is neither higher nor holier than the Bible; rather, it contains clear explanations of what is mystically contained in the Bible and is difficult for our short-sighted minds to understand because of its profundity. I will give you an example: the sun is the greatest, brightest, and most magnificent luminary; but you cannot gaze at and examine it with the naked, unshielded eye. A special piece of glass is needed, although millions of times smaller and dimmer than the sun, through which you could observe this magnificentthe king of luminaries, to admire and receive his fiery rays. So, too, Holy Scripture is a radiant sun, while the Philokalia is the necessary lens.
Now listen—I will read how to learn unceasing inner prayer. The elder opened the Philokalia, found the instruction of St. Symeon the New Theologian, and began: “Sit quietly and alone, bow your head, close your eyes; breathe more gently, and in your imagination look within your heart; bring the mind—that is, the thought—from the head into the heart. As you breathe, say: ‘Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me,’ quietly with your lips, or only in your mind. Try to drive away thoughts, maintain calm patience, and repeat this practice more often.”
Then the elder explained all this to me, demonstrated it by his own example, and we also read from the Philokalia St. Gregory of Sinai, as well as the venerable Callistus and Ignatius. The elder explained everything we had read in the Philokalia to me, adding his own words. I listened attentively and with delight, absorbed everything into my memory, and tried to remember it all as thoroughly as possible. We sat there the whole night and, without sleeping, went to Matins.
As he sent me away, the elder blessed me and said that, while learning the prayer, I should come to him with a simple-hearted confession and disclosure, for without the supervision of a spiritual guide, engaging in inner work on one’s own is difficult and rarely successful.
Standing in church, I felt a fervent zeal within me to study unceasing inner prayer as diligently as possible, and I asked God to helpto me. Then I wondered how I would go to the elder for advice or to confess my thoughts; after all, they would not let me stay at the inn for more than three days, and there were no lodgings near the wilderness... Finally, I heard that there was a village about four versts away. I went there to look for a place to stay, and fortunately God showed me a suitable opportunity. I was hired there for the whole summer by a peasant to guard his vegetable garden, on the condition that I would live there alone in a hut in the garden. Glory to God! — I had found a quiet place. And so I began to live and study, following the method shown to me, practicing the prayer of the heart, and visiting the elder from time to time.
For about a week I devoted myself diligently, in my solitude in the garden, to studying the unceasing prayer, exactly as the elder had explained it to me. At first, it seemed that things were going well. Then I felt a great heaviness, laziness, boredom, overwhelming sleepiness, and various thoughts came rushing upon me like a cloud. In distress, I went to the elder and told him of my condition. He received me kindly and began to say: “This, beloved brother, is the war waged against you by the dark world, to which nothing in us is as terrifying as prayer from the heart. Therefore, it does everything it can to hinder you and turn you away from studying the prayer. Yet the enemy acts only according to God’s will and permission, insofar as this is necessary for us. Clearly, you still need to be tested in humility; therefore, it is still too early for you to approach the higher entrance into the heart with excessive zeal, lest you fall into spiritual greed.
Now I will read you something about this In this case, a teaching from the Philokalia. The elder found the teaching of the venerable Nicephorus the Hesychast and began to read: “If, after laboring for some time, you are unable to enter the realm of the heart as it has been explained to you, then do what I shall tell you, and with God’s help you will find what you seek. You know that the faculty of speech is located in every person’s throat. Use this faculty to drive away thoughts (if you wish), and let it constantly say: Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me! — and compel yourself always to utter it. If you remain engaged in this for some time, the entrance to the heart will thereby be opened to you, without any doubt. This has been established by experience.”
“Now you hear how the holy fathers instruct us in this matter,” said the elder. “Therefore, you must now accept the instruction with confidence: perform the oral Jesus Prayer as often as possible. Here is a prayer rope; using it, begin by saying at least three thousand prayers each day. Whether you are standing, sitting, walking, or lying down, constantly say: Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me! — neither loudly nor hurriedly; and unfailingly carry out three thousand a day exactly, neither adding to nor subtracting from the number on your own initiative. Through this, God will help you attain uninterrupted prayer of the heart as well.”
I gladly accepted his instruction and went to my place. I began to carry it out faithfully and exactly as the elder had taught me. For two days it was difficult, but then it became so easy and Preferably, whenever you stop saying the prayers, some urge would arise to pray the Jesus Prayer again, and it would begin to be recited more comfortably and with greater ease, no longer as before, with effort.
I told the elder about this, and he instructed me to perform six thousand prayers a day, saying: “Be at peace, and simply try as faithfully as possible to fulfill the number of prayers prescribed for you: God will show you mercy.”
For a whole week, in my secluded hut, I completed six thousand Jesus Prayers every day, worrying about nothing and paying no attention to my thoughts, however much they might assail me; I strove only to fulfill the elder’s instruction exactly. And what happened? I became so accustomed to the prayer that if I stopped reciting it even for a brief time, I felt as though something were missing, as though I had lost something. I would begin the prayer, and at that very moment everything would again become easy and joyful. When I met someone, I no longer felt inclined to talk, and wanted only to remain in solitude and pray; I had grown accustomed to it in a single week.
After not seeing me for ten days, the elder himself came to visit me; I explained my condition to him. After listening, he said: “Now you have become accustomed to the prayer. See to it, then, that you maintain and deepen this habit; do not waste time in vain, and with God’s help resolve to perform twelve thousand prayers every day without fail. Remain in solitude, rise earlier, and go to bed later; every two weeks, goto me for advice.
I began to do as the elder had instructed me, and on the first day I barely managed to finish my twelve thousand repetitions late in the evening. On the following day I completed them easily and with pleasure. At first, during the incessant recitation of the prayer, I felt fatigue, or a kind of stiffness of the tongue and some tightness in the jaws—unpleasant, though bearable; then a slight and subtle pain in the roof of my mouth. Later I felt a small pain in the thumb of my left hand, with which I counted the beads, and a burning sensation throughout the hand that extended to the elbow and produced the most pleasant feeling. Moreover, all this seemed to arouse and urge me to say the prayer more often. Thus, for five days I faithfully completed twelve thousand prayers each day, and along with the habit came pleasure and eagerness.
One day, early in the morning, it was as though the prayer awakened me. I began to read my morning prayers, but my tongue pronounced them awkwardly, and all my desire spontaneously turned toward saying the Jesus Prayer. When I began it, everything became so easy and joyful; both tongue and lips seemed to pronounce the words on their own, without any urging from me! I spent the whole day in joy, as though detached from everything else, as if I were in another land, and easily completed twelve thousand prayers in the early evening. I very much wanted to continue saying the prayer, but I did not dare exceed what the elder had prescribed. In this way, on the following days as well, I continued invoking the name of Jesus Christ with ease and a strong attraction toward it.
Then I went to the elder for guidance and told him everything in detail. After listening to me, he began to say: “Glory to God that a desire and facility for prayer have awakened in you. This is a natural thing, arising from frequent practice and spiritual striving, much like a machine whose main wheel has been given a push or set in motion with force: afterward it continues to operate by itself for a long time; but to prolong its movement, that wheel must be lubricated and given another push. You see, then, what excellent abilities the God who loves mankind has bestowed even upon man’s sensory nature—what sensations may arise outside grace, in unpurified sensibility and in a sinful soul, as you yourself have already experienced. But how incomparably superior, wondrous, and delightful it is when the Lord is pleased to reveal to someone the gift of self-acting spiritual prayer and to cleanse the soul of the passions! This state cannot be described, and the revelation of this mystery of prayer is a foretaste of heavenly sweetness on earth. Those who seek the Lord with a simple, loving heart are deemed worthy of it! I now give you permission: pray as much as you wish, as much as possible; devote all your waking hours to prayer, and call upon the name of Jesus Christ continually, without counting, humbly surrendering yourself to God’s will and expecting help from Him. I believe that He will not abandon you and will guide your path.
Having received this instruction, I spent the entire summer in uninterrupted vocal Prayer of Jesus and was very peaceful. In my dreams, I often imagined that I began to pray. And during the day, whenever I happened to meet someone, without exception everyone seemed as kind to me as family, even though I did not associate with them. My thoughts quieted down entirely of their own accord, and I thought of nothing but prayer; my mind began to incline toward listening to it, while my heart, from time to time, began to feel warmth and a certain sweetness of its own accord. Whenever I went to church, the long, solitary service seemed short and was no longer exhausting to me as it had been before. My lonely hut seemed to me a magnificent palace, and I did not know how to thank God for sending such a saving elder and guide to me, such a wretched and sinful man.
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