My name is Marika.
I was at home when all this happened. I was ill, and suddenly I became very unwell. Then I felt all my energy leaving me.
It felt as though something was pressing down on me very hard, and it was very difficult to breathe—as if something heavy were lying on my chest.
At last, the moment came when I thought, “That’s it: I can no longer fight this heaviness on my chest,” and I gave up.
And at that very moment I thought: if I give up, I will most likely die. I felt no fear and simply let go.
Then a thought came to me that seemed even a little strange, because I thought: “Not breathing is much better than breathing.”
And at that moment I felt incredibly alive. I clearly heard my heart stop beating.
Then I saw an incredible light approaching me, growing brighter and brighter, and I found myself inside that light.
Suddenly I remembered that I really had been in this light. I had always been in it.
It was incredibly powerful, as if thousands of suns were shining on me, yet it did not blind me and was very pleasant.
This light was very familiar to me, and I had the feeling that I had completely forgotten about it, as though we had not seen each other for a long time and were now meeting again.
I completely surrendered to this light, feeling an incredible unconditional love.
At that moment I was above my body, in my room, but at the same time I could see my husband in the kitchen, preparing tea for me.
I had a severe cold and was seriously ill at the time.
I knew that everything would be all right with my husband, that he would cope with everything in his life.
I saw his future—that he would marry again, have children, and live in love.
Then I remembered my parents—with immense love and gratitude—and realized that I would soon pass into the other world and would no longer be on Earth.
But saying goodbye to my parents was not sad; it was a loving, grateful memory of them.
Then I saw a Being of Light that helped me cross to the other side.
Then my life review began.
It was an astonishing process in which I saw the moments and instants of my life when I had to make decisions.
These were the most important moments of my life, and I relived every one of them.
They were decisions I had made from the heart, as well as actions driven by my ego.
The first thing I remember being shown because of my ego was from my childhood, when I was in kindergarten.
At that time I had been very unpleasant to my friend.
At that moment I felt not only my own emotions, but also my friend’s, as though I were inside her body, while at the same time feeling both myself and her.
I clearly sensed that I was me, that I was her, and at the same time that I was a divine being objectively observing everything from above.
I was in three beings simultaneously and experienced the situation objectively.
I realized that, for the first time in my life, I had deliberately decided to be unkind to another person, and this moment was truly very difficult for me—not because I was judged or condemned in any way: there was no anger toward me, no judgment at all; all the evaluation of the situation came from me.
I was deeply shaken and said to myself: “What are you doing? Stop, don’t do this!”
I felt very sorry and hurt because I felt the other girl’s pain as well.
Then this Being of Light showed me moments from my life when I had made decisions from the heart and felt so much joy and love.
I saw how, from the other side, my actions had created a wave of joy and love, and this joy was intense and incredible—for people.
Our kind deeds generate love, and I understood that these wonderful moments of joy and love are a kind of miraculous gift to us.
Because at that moment you are living exactly as you are meant to live, and you are who you truly are.
And I understood that this was a great gift to me, because I could see it and become aware of all the joy I had given to others.
After my life review, I entered another space that was very dark.
It was completely silent.
There I saw four beings who seemed to fill me with the information I needed—the knowledge I would need one day.
When I received this knowledge, it immediately became clear to me, and I understood who I was.
Then I felt that I was one with everything: with love, with eternity, with joy—and I remained in this state for a very long time.
Although in the otherworldly realm time has no significance—there is no time there.
I experienced a state of unity, joy, and ever-increasing bliss—and understood that this is what we truly are.
Then I saw a growing light and a silhouette through that light.
It was the part of me that had become attached to me during my earthly life.
This part of me passed through the light and disappeared.
I remained in a state of unity and love, and at that moment all thoughts and perceptions of me as Marika disappeared.
My name, my personality, everything I had previously thought about myself disappeared.
And at that moment I was exactly what I truly was: my entire human nature, my essence, my entire humanity disappeared; my whole human story simply vanished.
I felt exactly as I truly was.
And it is not only me.
You are all the same.
I am an infinite soul, infinite love, infinite joy, infinite bliss, and infinite peace.
And this is our true nature.
I remember thinking that I was love, that I was joy.
How could I have thought that I was merely some woman—Marika?
Then, like a wave, a thought came to me saying: “It is not yet time; you must return.”
And at that moment I thought: I am infinite love, infinite joy, an infinite soul, and one with everyone.
And return—what for? Where would I return to? No, I am not going anywhere.
Then I heard a voice: “It is not yet time; you need to return.”
I said: “No, no, absolutely not! I will stay here! And where would I return to? What are you talking about? I have already forgotten myself as Marika!”
Then it made me understand and said: “Everyone has a certain time when they may leave the earthly world, and they must not leave earlier.
So your time has not yet come; you must return and help others. Remember who you are. Return.”
And these were not merely simple words—I had the impression that these words filled me, and that they were divine wisdom: “Remember who you are. Return and help people.”
Then I accepted that I would return and help people.
I did not understand what this meant.
And when I came to terms with it, I became completely lost, because I did not understand where I was supposed to return or how this return was supposed to happen.
Then I said that I could not return because I did not know how to return.
And suddenly some force carried me through the entire Universe at tremendous speed, and suddenly I felt myself in my body.
I remember breathing very heavily, feeling my husband slap my face with his palms and shout loudly in panic: “Marika! Marika!”
When I came to, my husband asked me what had happened, and I told him:
—I died.
I had been to the other side; I told him everything I had seen.
Later I told other people all about it as well.
None of this was easy for me.
It took me a very long time to understand everything and put my life in order.
I was very confused; my human nature had simply been lost.
I did not know how to live as a human being.
I thought I was going insane.
But eventually I understood what “Remember who you are and help other people” meant.
And it became my life’s purpose.
